We’ve all heard of the Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
There is a fundamentally arrogant assumption in this statement…that is, that the other likes what you like and wants to be treated how you would like to be treated. It’s good, but not quite right.
I came across another, slightly better version many years ago. It is called the Platinum Rule – Do unto others as they would have you do unto them.
Now this is saying something quite different. This rule (let’s call it a guideline – I really don’t like rules), is asking us to treat others how they would like to be treated.
You may ask…”What’s the difference?” Loads actually.
Let’s take a simple example…nothing too controversial as this could go sideways very quickly!
I love having my chair pulled out for me, the door opened and if I smoked, yes please light my cigarette! I am, in essence an old-fashioned girl 🙂
Not everyone…some ladies hate being treated with these mannerisms. To them this may feel belittling, demeaning, controlling and unasked for.
The Golden guideline in this instance may well get you into trouble! Going Platinum however will keep you in good graces.
There is a fair point to highlight though, and this is a biggie…How do you know what the other wants? Oh no, it’s the C word again (no not that one!!), Communication people. Speak, ask, be open.
“Would you mind if I opened the door for you? It’s something I like to do”
You won’t know unless you ask.
Never assume that just because it is right for you, it will be right for someone else.
Yes you risk being shot down, but hey, who wants to be around people who can’t communicate with grace anyway?